Somehow it feels like spring, and about Dilbeck.

Although the summer is winding down, and the days are getting slightly cooler, I feel like it's spring. I seem to get more sad and hopeless in the winter, and then come out of it in the spring at about the same time the grass starts to turn green again. However, this year has been bright and full of sunshine even on the darkest days. I've turned over a new leaf with each passing month. Progress and learning have been my closest companions and I feel like I want this time of my life to go on and on.

A very good and very loved friend of mine passed away yesterday. His name was Patrick Dilbeck, but I called him Dilbeck. He became friends with Michael when they served together in Fresno, and became friends with me the second I met him. I feel like I should say something about him here, but everyone who knows him, knows him. He was exactly himself with few walls or pretenses. I've never laughed harder with anyone else outside of my family and I never grew tired of his company. He laughed at everyone (including himself) and everything. He worried about the proper way to cook a meringue and order at a restaurant. Even at his darkest times, he would joke around about his trial and tribulations. I loved him so dearly and still love him and look forward to seeing him again. It makes me happy to think of what he can now do without the constraints his ailments and illnesses put upon his body and mind. I will miss him quietly.

Also, once we went to one of his friend's houses and when we got in the car to leave, it smelled like dog poop. Everyone checked their feet and it turned out to be Dilbeck who had stepped in it. He was so mortified he could hardly speak and he just kept wailing "noooo nooooo noooo!". I laughed so hard I was crying. Proper Dilbeck, who had spent an hour deciding which was the appropriate shirt to wear for the occasion, ended up with dog poo on his shoe at the end of the day and he almost died of the shame of it. Then he laughed for like an hour...

sorry folks, i been busy

Michael had surgery last Friday. We are slowly recuperating. Hopefully I'll have time to blog some time soon.

"There's an angel by your hospital bed,"

Michael's MRI revealed that he has a bulging disc in his spine. It is pinching a nerve. His left shoulder is in excruciating pain all the time, and has been for about a month now. He can't pick up the kids, he can hardly even hold a dinner plate in that hand because he has lost so much strength. It has been very difficult for him to even get through the day because of all of the pain medications he has to take to just be functional. It's weird though, although he is one of the gentlest people I know, he is also one of the toughest. He hasn't missed a day of work and he still does everything he can to help out around the house. He's being referred to a neurosurgeon to decide if he needs surgery or what. I really hope that they are able to help him, it's been a very difficult time. Also, it has been a really happy time for us. Our kids are growing and learning new things and it is amazing to watch and help them on their way. We've been making some great improvements in our money management and are continuing to work on that. Plus, the warm summer days just make me feel happy and content and I'm a lot more active. It's easier to eat fresh healthy things when they are in abundance, so our diet has improved greatly as well. I remember the day I realized that my life would never be free of trials and that it was a good thing. Probably one of the best things I've ever internalized.

Walking (Joaquin) Phoenix

I've been walking lately. Nothing spectacular, just about two miles once or twice a day, but I AM pushing a double stroller piled high with childs. And it isn't a jogging stroller either. It's one of those thirty-pounders made for cruising the mall and whatnot. Also, I walk pretty fast. Anyways, it gets my heart pumping and gets me out of the housej999f mftb f . <----Tenzin helped me type. The kids love it, and I have noticed a significant boost in my energy level the rest of the time that I am not walking. Except for right before bed, then I feel like crying with my tiredness, but I am also sleeping much more soundly and so are the children. If anyone has a double jogging stroller or bike trailer they don't need, let me know!
Totally unrelated, but equally awesome, is this:
We threw a baby shower for Antje on Tuesday and it went beautifully. Antje tied some balloons to a flower pot and to my mailbox to indicate to people where the shower was being held. I noticed upon leaving my house yesterday that the balloons had deflated and it looks like i have two pink scrotums hanging in my yard. I should probably take them down...
Something sad:
Michael hurt his shoulder and has been in constant, excruciating pain for about a week and a half. He doesn't know how he hurt it, the pain was just there. He's being going to physical therapy, but it makes the pain worse. If I could, I would do whatever I could to make him feel better. Unfortunately, the doctor doesn't know what will help him. He's on three different pain meds, but they only take the edge off of the pain, and only for a short time. I hate, hate, hate seeing men in pain. It hits this weird place in my stomach and makes me feel like the world is off its axis.
Something delicious:
Winco has Fudge Bars that have vanilla ice cream in the middle and they are only $2.98 for 18 of them. They are so good. I recommend them to all.

Furniture

I have acquired two new pieces of furniture. One is a huge wicker PapaSan couch with a red and white cushion. It is so adorable. Second is a large mirror with a white frame. I love them both. I love having a house and I love putting things that I love into my house and taking things out of it that I loathe and tolerate only because I have no alternative. I would say that my house is not well decorated and not well arranged, but it feels like home to me and that makes me feel happy.

mon petit chou...

I think that is how you say "my little cabbage" in French, but my French classes were very interesting so I don't really know. Yesterday, Michael and Lilli were playing "shopping". They would come into the kitchen with her shopping cart and I would put something in the cart, then they would go to the living room, then come back and repeat. Lilli kept asking Michael to be the "cabbage". He did his best- curling into a little ball, putting his hands on his cheeks to simulate the way cabbage leaves wrap around the head, making cabbage sounds, but she was not impressed. So he tried harder, doing more cabbage-y things, but she still was not pleased. After a lot of questions, and more attempts at cabbage-ness from Michael, everything finally became clear. She was confusing the word "cabbage" with the word "cashier". She was wanting him to check her out of the store, and he was just curling into a ball with his hands on his face and staring vacantly. Just picture it, go on, I'll wait...





Ok, that's the end of the story. And that is one reason why Michael is a wonderful dad- he plays with his children, doing things that they want to do, so that they know he loves them and is interested in their lives. Happy Father's Day, sweetie!

Lillzilla and I made cookies for the ward to hand out on Father's Day. They are the most delicious cookies known to man (or woman). There is a secret to making them that my mother handed down to us when we ventured out on our own (and then came back, then left again, then came back, then left again, etc. for some of us). I don't think she would mind if I shared the secret with you. The secret is "Awesomeness". If you are truly awesome, and follow the directions exactly, you will be blessed with the most delicious Oatmeal Raisin cookies you can imagine. That is all.

A tea party sans tea.

Two of my nieces, Jadeyn and Kelsey, came over today. We decided that a tea party was in order, so we cranked the classical music and ate little munchies. Of course, no tea party is complete without flower sandwiches with pickle leaves. Tenzin did his best to spoil the girly fun by swiping food from plates and pulling the tablecloth, but to no avail. He was eventually coerced into wearing a bonnet and posing for a photo... oh, the sad fate of the younger brother. Jadeyn and Lilli wanted their faces painted, so I tried my best...
Lilli is a Puppy and Jadeyn is a blue dinosaur.

Kelsey was an awesome helper for watching the kiddos and serving the food. I love my nieces! Then we played outside on the slippn' slide. I had planned on cleaning the house somewhat today, but as usual decided to forgo cleaning in lieu of creating fond memories with the people I love.

Jump up and down like you just don't care. But you do care, don't you, emo kid?

Yesterday was my lovely mother's birthday. I wanted to celebrate a bit so we all went to the park today and had angel food cake and the kids played on the equipment. We were worried about rain, so I brought one of those umbrellas that you put through the center of a patio table and a regular umbrella. Apparently I was the only one worried about rain because those were the only two umbrellas brought, and when it started raining, all of my aunts and my grandma huddled beneath the large umbrella. They were trying to make it to the dry pavilion, but didn't want to come out from underneath the umbrella. So as a group they very s-l-o-w-l-y waddled all the way to the pavilion, trying not to step on each other, but also trying not to get wet. It was hilarious to watch the struggle. It was like the umbrella was a big mommy duck and they were the chicks ducking under the wings. Everyone in the park had their eyes fixated on the crazy sight. All of the kids had brought swimsuits to wear to play in the water feature, but instead ended up soaking their play clothes in the rain and had to wear their swimsuits on the way home to keep the car seats dry. Tenzin crawled around on the ground trying to eat any small bit of anything that he could find and Lilli has finally conquered her fear of slides and happily slid down all of the available slides, splashing into the puddles at the bottom. Overall, I think everyone had fun and a lot of laughs. Thankfully, it was a pretty laid back group and the rain didn't do much damage to everyone's cheery mood!

the first post

This is my first blog post.