A visit from Grandpa

Lilli came into the bedroom today as I was getting Tenzin dressed for bed and announced "Mommy! Grandpa's here!"
"He is? Where is he?" was my befuddled reply.
"There!" she shrieked and then tumbled to the floor giggling, with one finger pointed at Tenzin.
I had just slipped him into his pants as he was wiggling away in protest, leaving his pants pulled up to almost armpit level. If you've ever seen my dad wear pajama pants, you'll know exactly what she was talking about.

What it means to be adopted...

Michael and I have been thinking about adoption lately. I came across this little story in a book I was reading and wanted to share it:
"Teacher Debbie Moon's first-graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had different color hair than the other family members.
One child suggested that he was adopted, and a little girl named Jocelynn Jay said, "I know all about adoptions because I'm adopted."
"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.
"It means," said Jocelynn, "that you grew in your mother's heart instead of her tummy."  --George Dolan"

Tha Zoo: where ya' dun learnt abowt aminals and stuff!

While on a recent trip to the zoo, the children where posing with the various animal sculptures. This is a picture of sweet baby Bella doing that which I have just described. As my children crawled into some prehistoric eggshells with grins all a-cheese, I heard an exclamation behind me, "Mom! Mom! I want to go sit on the hump-back mule!" I turned to see an 8 or 9 year-old girl run up and jump onto the back of the camel sculpture with a look of exquisite joy on her face. 

The humpback mule.

and Neils, Guin, and the mother.

Life is easier if...

you relax a little.  Also, eating cotton candy as an occasional meal replacement doesn't hurt either. I did both yesterday and was quite pleased with the results.

Old poem I wrote about waking up with Lilli in the middle of the night...

tiny, peering, almond eyes
upside-down, and just-parting lids
In the dark I can make out your eyebrows raised in wonder-
Imagine you think first, "Where am I?"
and second, "where is my warm, cozy friend?"

I hold you close, sniff your hair.
My sweet Lilli is too awake for sleeping.

fingers ready for discovery reach, with tips grab a hanger from the floor-
grip the phone-charging cord tight.
I prise your tiny hands from its danger, pick you up.

Whisk you away to the living room carpet where you can learn freely.
You smile, knowing, behind your pacifier still clutched tight in teeth.
We peek-a-boo, read stories of bunnies and opposites,
you kiss the beak of your chicken head toy and babble "da-da" and other soft nothings.

When I turn to write this poem, it's "MA MA MA MA..!" until I look at you, and then you are fine again.
Oh love, I wouldn't trade these nights with you for anything.

Not anything, my brilliant, beautiful little child...

False Alarm!

Apparently I have forgotten what PMS feels like... I woke up this morning feeling completely normal, happy, and motivated again. I tended to my poor food poisoned husband, took the kids on a walk, partially cleaned my sister-in-law's kitchen, had a picnic with the kids outside, deep-cleaned my own kitchen, washed/dried/folded about 6 loads of laundry, cleaned my bathroom, cleaned my living room, played with the kids, read some offensive Sherlock Holmes, cleaned the fish tank, and felt happy to be alive.  If I complain about depression again approx. 24 days from now, someone remind me, please!

Pushing Up Daisies

The past two weeks have been extremely trying for me. I thought I was doing good when I got through the entire winter AND holiday season without any struggles with depression. My house was kept clean (well, by my standards), the kids were happy and I played with them often, I made special efforts to accommodate my husband's needs so that he could focus on school and work, and I felt at ease and cheerful on a pretty consistent basis. Then spring came, and it threw me for a loop. I love spring, I love flowers, I love going on walks and playing at the park, I love picnics and playdates and opening the windows! So why do I feel so blah..?
I think it has to do in part with the crazy weather we've had this spring. I wake up, ready to take the kids to the park, and it is pouring rain. We go on a bike ride, and suddenly the sun is gone and it's freezing and we have to rush home. I'm not the kind of person that likes to sit at home for weeks straight.
Also, I think that my body is getting a little worn out. I haven't had a full night of rest in about 4 years. With Michael's surgery and recovery, including consistent migraines, constant pain, and inability to do much physically for awhile, I was pulling double duty with the kids for quite awhile.
Another contributing factor is that Tenzin has been perpetually sick in one way or another for a long time. When he was in the hospital for 5 days, I only left his side once for about an hour, and the rest of the time I was holding him, nursing him, and helping with all of the breathing treatments and other therapies. When he is sick, we can't go anywhere due to the possibility of passing on the diseases, so we're stuck at home, for weeks straight.
Anyways, like my mom used to say, "It's nothing that 12 full hours of sleep wouldn't cure." Which means I should start feeling better in about a year, ha ha.