The past two weeks have been extremely trying for me. I thought I was doing good when I got through the entire winter AND holiday season without any struggles with depression. My house was kept clean (well, by my standards), the kids were happy and I played with them often, I made special efforts to accommodate my husband's needs so that he could focus on school and work, and I felt at ease and cheerful on a pretty consistent basis. Then spring came, and it threw me for a loop. I love spring, I love flowers, I love going on walks and playing at the park, I love picnics and playdates and opening the windows! So why do I feel so blah..?
I think it has to do in part with the crazy weather we've had this spring. I wake up, ready to take the kids to the park, and it is pouring rain. We go on a bike ride, and suddenly the sun is gone and it's freezing and we have to rush home. I'm not the kind of person that likes to sit at home for weeks straight.
Also, I think that my body is getting a little worn out. I haven't had a full night of rest in about 4 years. With Michael's surgery and recovery, including consistent migraines, constant pain, and inability to do much physically for awhile, I was pulling double duty with the kids for quite awhile.
Another contributing factor is that Tenzin has been perpetually sick in one way or another for a long time. When he was in the hospital for 5 days, I only left his side once for about an hour, and the rest of the time I was holding him, nursing him, and helping with all of the breathing treatments and other therapies. When he is sick, we can't go anywhere due to the possibility of passing on the diseases, so we're stuck at home, for weeks straight.
Anyways, like my mom used to say, "It's nothing that 12 full hours of sleep wouldn't cure." Which means I should start feeling better in about a year, ha ha.
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